It’s terrible but true, a lot of marriages end up in divorce and if your relationship has come to the end of the line, you’ll not want to walk into that minefield in Japan without knowing just what might be waiting for you.
Below you will find some (very) basic information about procedures when divorcing in Japan. Do you have more to add? If so, please share in the comments section. GaijinPot will follow up with further articles in the future.
It is worth noting that sometimes you can also choose to file for a divorce in your home country, which may or may not make the procedure more simple. This is regulated by International Private Law and Processes and to learn more, you will need to look into your home country’s individual laws. Also, make sure that you understand what the effect will be in Japan. For example, custody of children granted in a foreign court is not always accepted by Japanese law and you could therefore face yet another custody hearing in Japan.
Filing for a divorce
There are basically three kinds of divorce in Japan: divorce by mutual consent, family court mediation divorce and court divorce.
Mutual consent (Kyogi Rikon) is possible if both parties agree to be divorced. The process is finished very quickly as it only is a matter of letting the city office have a couple of days to register the papers. To get a mutual consent divorce, you will need to go down to the ward office and fill out a divorce form (rikon todoke). Both of the partners hanko seals need to be on the form.
If one partner wishes to get a divorce and the other partner refuses, the next step would be to go to a family court (Chotei Rikon) to settle the matter. This is not an actual court able to dispense legally binding judgments. Instead, it could be best described as a process of negotiation through mediation and advice. These proceedings can take a very long time and you will need to show that the marriage is absolutely not working out. There are a few legally valid reasons for a marriage to be irreversibly over. These reasons include adultery and the breaking of a serious criminal law. Many couples (Japanese) remain married although living separate lives because of the difficulties of giving a legally valid reason for a divorce.
The last kind of divorce is done directly through the courts (Saiban). The divorce will be settled by a judge and except for the reasons given above, this option gives the judge the ability to rule for a divorce on the grounds of “grave reasons” that make continuing the marriage impossible.
Alimony and settlement
If one of the partners have been unfaithful, violent or in any other way can be held responsible for the divorce, then alimony can be claimed upon the dissolution of a marriage. Normally the alimony is a lump sum payment paid for the pain and suffering that has been caused.
If alimony cannot be agreed upon, the matter will go to mediation in the family court. If mediation fails, then a law suit can be filed with the family court.
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Comments
What happened in the end?
Japanese have s completely different idea of life after divorce .
Hi. What ended up happening? If he takes your kids and remains in Japan it will be much harder for you.
Unfortunately, while this advice sounds negative and pessimistic it’s true. Using the court system to see your kids will take years.
If she refuses to get divorced it will take some time.
My japanese wife refuse to get divorced and my japanese level isn’t that high. Can I get divorced from abroad? What should I do?
Got one. Want 2b in my girls’ lives.
Very sorry to hear your story.. many men look at things in a completely different way.. maybe he has needs that are not met.. try to understand what makes him think like that?
probably go get a job of your own and then you can leave!!
Are you required to have separate addresses prior to filing a mutual consent for divorce?
I cant describe how painful and horrible all of this is. The only way to prevent your child from being taken is to get the jump on your wife. Take a family trip to your country and take your children away when your wife is sleeping.
If you get into a fight here then move out and don’t give her ANY money. If you can take all of the important documents. Insurance home owner paper. her passport everything then DO IT ! Send them to your country. Do everything you can to isolate your wife and make her life as difficult as possible. She will kidnap your child. Don’t show her any mercy or sympathy. She will take your child and the courts will help her. The whole process is just to take your money and give her the child. There are too many lawyers in Japan right now. This is easy money for them. You pay them over $20,000 for a case that you will lose. It is 100% certain you will lose you child. Her parents or grandparents are rich. You child wont be harmed by not giving your wife money. It took a Canadian father over 5 years to get his daughter back from his IN-LAWS after his wife died. Did the daughter want to leave or did the grandparents lack the energy to raise a teenager or did the lawyer accomplish anything???
Japanese don’t do it the “Japanese way” don’t get conned into the courts. You will lose everything and have to pay for your wife to enjoy life with your precious child.
If you took your wife to your country and murdered her, brought you child to friends to raise and went to the police. You would get more visitation then you will get if you try to divorce in Japan. In prison as a murderer you will be able to meet your child, get photographs and beautiful things that the child made. You can talk to your child on the phone.
In Japan you get 20 minutes a year IF your wife feels like it.
DONT WASTE TIME WITH THE COURTS
Maybe divorce isn’t the answer in many cases. If you move out and stay married you have a much stronger position. You wife cant apply for any benefits and you don’t have to give her money. As soon as you enter the court system you lose and that is the ONLY outcome. There is NO fairness and because she has the child she is the victim. Its best to force her to divorce outside the system. The only way to do that is to put pressure on her.
It doesn’t sound nice, but you are dealing with people and a court system that will steal your child.
You must realize that the court isn’t the kind of court you think it is. The is no quest for fairness, the trust or the guilty party. The court is there to make sure you give your wife money and that she DOESNT have to share the child with you.
I can’t offer any advice except that a friend who was married to a japanese national had her children taken by her husband and has seen them 3- 4 times with a mediator in 3 yrs, for the first year not at all. His family took them off the street and it is still dragging on. not to alarm you, can your consulate be any help? its good he is discussing with you just be careful is all i can say.
Im wondering if anyone can help me. My Husband is British and I am Australian, we ,met in Japan in 99 married in the Uk in 2000 left japan early 2011.
He is telling me he will file our divorce in Japan over uk and aus as Japan is less favourable to women . We have 3 children and none of them were born in Japan.
I am a foreign mother living in Japan.
My husband and I will soon be getting divorced.
But we can’t come to a mutual agreement with child custody.
I have agreed that I will stay in Japan, and I will not take the girls away from him.
However, he suggests that we take one child each.
The children are 5 and 3. I find this a selfish move on his behalf.
I have tried to suggest a weekly rotation to help keep the peace.
But he won’t come to an agreement with that, he says it won’t work.
I say we could give it a try, and if there are problems with it, then we can figure out another solution.
He still won’t agree and wants to take it to court.
The problem is, I can’t afford a lawyer.
I’m scared the girls will be taken away from me because I don’t earn enough money and I am a foreign mother living in Japan.
What should I do?
Did you ever get good recommendations you can share? I am going through the same thing.
I want get divorce but the problem is my son, I want my son stay with me but on holiday he can spend time with father.but my husband didn’t want it.he want taking care my son by himself.i so frustrated I can’t live without my son he just 7 year old.
unless you have job in Japan, your spouse visa will change to working visa ( re-apply). if you have no job in Japan, once you both signed the divorce paper. of course you are not entilte to lived in Japan. and again, if you have kid, this is going to very long processing divorce fight for the child custody. perhaps you should contact citizen Bureau Advice or JESUIT SOCIAL CENTER TOKYO. some are giving free advise.
My wife wants divorce.I just re-newed my Visa . If i sign,will it effect my Visa in any way .
Can i stay in Japan for the remaining year i have on my Visa ?
Everyone has heard of wife beaters but it is unusal to hear anythinking about husband beaters. My wife has come to the point where she puches me in the head, slaps my face and kicks me in the testicles everyday.
A cannot stand the punishiment anymore. I need to leave the house but she has all the money and I have access to none. She can get very violents and I can not take it anymore.
There is such a thing a same houses for wife’s that get beat by their husbands but what about the opposite. I have a real problem because I have no money of my own so I have to put up with her violence. I want to get away but have no choice now.
Does anyone have any recommendations?
The sad part about divorce is that the mother is almost automatically given custody of the child unless she has a history of violence, neglect, drug abuse or something along those lines and the father is cut out of the picture. Furthermore, the father can only visit his child when the ex-wife allows him to. The court will not interfere at all in the mother’s desire to keep her child from it’s father. It is not like in the States at all, where most of the time the judge decides how much either parent can have contact with the child. Professionals are sent to both the mother’s and the father’s home to evaluate the living conditions. Parents are interviewed by psychologist. It may cost a lot of money and take a long time to get divorced when children are involved, but at least, for the most part it is thorough. Sadly, here it is just automatically assumed that the mother will take better care of her children and if the father really loves his children he will stay away to avoid conflict and psychological stress to his children if the ex-wife is not willing to allow him contact with the children. This is the case and more than 95% of the divorces in Japan. Please no attacks on me. I am just stating the absolute TRUTH. I have been through the system. I have experienced the divorce here. I have friends who have also and this is how it works and any agency or advocate for father’s right’s here will tell you the same thing.
As a foreigner living in Japan now for the past eight years, I have found more and more students whose parents are divorced. I am married to a Japanese and know how hard it is for an international relationship, but if you have kids in can be the saving grace in building a stronger bond. I have many friends back in Canada who are divorced to, so I think it is not just here. All over the world people are getting divorced. This is a world problem, and not just Japan
I know that spending more time with loved ones, getting off the internet and buying more gifts and saying I love you goes a long way.
Another reason why I have set up the site http://giftsfordadonline.com
Here you can buy a great gift for that love one.
Order it online to your front door. International products too.
Stay happy
AC
i think that traditional style thinking suit better about not having sex unless u married.
if you get divorced but you still have remaining time on your visa can you stay in japan on the same visa?
New Zealand it is 1 out of 2.
Japan one in every four marriages ends up in divorce, it is one of the highest rates in the world.